Thursday 31 May 2018

iZombie: And He Shall be a Good Man

"I'll let you spank me from time to time."

THIS IS THE SEASON FINALE. HERE BE SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Well, that was very good indeed. It was obvious, i think, that Zevon and Chase Graves were going to die; Graves because he's committed too many unforgiveable acts to be allowed to live and Zevon because we already knew he was to be executed first and television drama law dictates that Liv be saved only in the nick of time.

But Peyton surviving was unexpected, especially after all that deliberate foreshadowing in the last few episodes. Certainly the opening scene continues this foreshadowing, with Ravi hearing about Washington pulling the plug on brains coming into a suddenly unsafe Seattle, and firmly insisting that she stay where she is. So back she comes, they kiss, and the next time we see them they look quite post-coital. Er, less than ten minutes later.

But we're left in no doubt that the whole episode is about saving Liv from judicial killing. Oh, and Zevon, if people fancy it; we all know the poor chap's going to die.

The plot's a little complicated- both Jordan and Comedy French Bloke are acting as double agents but, given the stakes, the tension never relents. Johnny Frost is back. Clive and Dale are rudely interrupted before they have sex which, given what later happens, is probably just as well.

The minutes before the execution are incredibly tense. For Liv, that isl Levon's certain death is, I'm sure Levon's death has already been factored in by every single viewer at this point. And then chaos ensues as Major, in full-on zombie mode, leads a crowd of humans and zombies through the doors. Said chaos is superbly depicted in the directorial choice to show a series of short scenes fading to black, until Liv has guillotined Graves and we all punch the air.

So life goes on, Major now runs Fillmore-Graves and thus, sort of, the city. Meanwhile reality catches up with the quixotic Angus, leading his followers in a Waco-like last stand as manipulated by the son he at last disowns again. It's a dramatic but cruelly pointless end.

Liv is, of course. devastated to lose another boyfriend in yet another brutal way. o she resolves to eat Isobel's brain, the last cure. But there is at least a bit of happiness with an ad hoc wedding between Dale and Clive, and Liv is able go give Clive a rather nice wedding gift by making children a possibility. Er, do we know that Dale even wants kids...?

We end, after Liv's devastating yet inevitable bereavement, with Liv seemingly still Renegade, this time with friendly leadership of a New Seattle that, increasingly, sees itself as an independent city state...

Tuesday 29 May 2018

Buffy the Vampire: Same Time, Same Place

"I thought you were with Giles, studying not to kill people?"

This is, of course, an episode all about Willow and her return to Sunnydale. Naturally, Alyson Hannigan gets (and deserves) lots of screen time after the token cameos of the previous episodes. Naturally, there's a magical twist as neither Willow nor the Scoobies can see each other, and there's a nasty troll in town that flays people.

It's also a Jane Espenson episode and Espenson is, Joss Whedon notwithstanding, the other "name" writer on Buffy. This episode makes it obvious why; there's her trademark witty dialogue, of course, but that's not the only way she really gets Buffy. Unlike Whedon she tends not to do the format-busting episodes, but takes a very, very Buffy idea, traditionally, as here, a rather obvious metaphor, and moulds into something superbly crafted, funny and heartwrenching all at once.

This episode is awfully clever in how it handles the conceit that Willow and the others can't see each other- the opening scene in the airport, and the scene with spike in the school basement, are masterful. It's awfully convenient to the plot, though, that Anya can see everyone...

Other stuff happens, of course. Dawn is starting to not be an annoying teenager and actually do Scooby stuff, such as the solid research she does here, and Michelle Trachtenberg gets to show that she's rather good at comedy. Anya is still having trouble at work. But when it's all over, and Willow has suffered an awful lot, what makes your eyes well up a bit is Alyson Hannigan's bloody brilliant acting as Willow is so very happy to be accepted again by her friends. So, yeah, the season pretty much continues to be amazing.

Monday 28 May 2018

Quick Update

It’s back to work tomorrow after a lovely two weeks off, so I’m afraid it’s back to the usual frequency of blogging (still pretty frequent) and no films on a school night. Which actually means I’ll be getting through Buffy and Angel more quickly, if you’ll excuse the three (soon to be two) current telly programmes I’m following...

Sunday 27 May 2018

Blood of the Vampire (1958)

"They called me a vampire!"

This film is rather cheeky to bill itself as a vampire film. One has certain expectations from a Jimmy Sangster script; the title certainly implies vampires, and the film starts with some on-screen text strongly implying vampires. Instead we end up with a film about a man framed for murder and sent to a sadistic prison so he can help the mad scientist governor with his blood experiments.So, while not a bad film on its own terms, Blood of the Vampire was very cheekily titled and marketed. Blame the studio, I suppose.

Anyway, this is an interesting little obscure film, featuring a young Barbara Shelley in a prominent role, from about the time when Hammer were resurrecting the horror genre. Yet it doesn't really commit to being a horror film, entertaining though it is as a melodrama. It has its charms, though: Carl, the Igor with the unconvincing rubber eye hanging from its rubber socket; John Le Mesurier in a serious cameo as a judge; an opening bit of text saying it's 1874 yet where dialogue establishes it's 1880 and a tombstone for a recently deceased character proclaims it to be 1892. Is this a record? Also, a major organ in a jar and the look of the Igor character- an influence for the Doctor Who story The Brain of Morbius?

In spite of everything, though, this is not a bad film if you enjoy a good old-fashioned melodrama.

Saturday 26 May 2018

The Elephant Man (1980)

"I’ve tried so hard to be good...”

This is a film that does something amazing: it’s unabashedly sentimental and gets away with it. This is entirely down to David Lynch, whose interesting local style allows him to be sentimental without over-sugaring the palate in ways that a less, well, weird director could not.

The performances, of course, are superlative, as the cast list pretty much guarantees they would be. John Hurt is superb and justly acclaimed as Merrick himself, although a Leicester native would realistically have been a lot more ay up me duck than this performance. The character is quite superficial, I suppose- his only character trait is “virtuous”, although there’s ambiguity about his death at the end by lying down to sleep instead of sitting and crushing his neck; is it suicide? There’s no denying, though, that Hurt portrays the pathos of the character superbly. A young Anthony Hopkins too, as a Frederick Treves wondering if in the end he is any less of an exploiter than the loathsome Bytes. The monochrome cinematography and occasional piece of weird direction just about stop all this from being too saccharine. And, of course, the presence of John Gielgud is always a dignified of intended seriousness.

It’s an odd success in that it’s not very David Lynch at all in many ways, and there is no real message behind the pathos, but nevertheless the way Lynch creates said pathos is true artistry. This film feels the same kind of sentimental that Steven Spielberg films often are but, of course, David Lynch does it better.

A Very English Scandal: Episode 1

"You've infected me, Jeremy, with the virus of homosexuality."

There's something about Jeremy Thorpe that fascinates more than any politician. Perhaps I, as a fairly core Liberal Democrat voter, find him more interesting than those who forget the party exists, but he's the dark heart of liberalism, much as his views and political principles were admirable. Superficial, showy, and worst of all covering up the evils committed by the loathsome Cyril Smith, he is hard to like for one so charismatic.

His story is also an interesting choice for Russell T. Davies. Oh, I know there's the obvious gay theme, but nevertheless RTD isn't usually one for politics dramas directed by Stephen Frears. It can't be denied, though; this first part looks as though he's been writing this stuff for years.This is, let's be clear, a bloody good piece of telly.

It's unusual for RTD in, perhaps, another sense; while the characters are naturally sketched superbly, there's more of an emphasis on plot and theme than would be expected. equally unexpected, though, is a stellar performance from Hugh Grant, full of nuance and far from the romantic comedies for which he is mainly known.

The tale is told through flashback, great dialogue as we would expect, and masterful characterisation. Ben Whishaw is superb as Norman Scott, and the ubiquitous Alex Jennings is well cast as Peter Bessell. Thorpe is an ambiguous character, no hypocrite in supporting the legalisation of homosexuality, but ambitious enough to seek a beard for a wife. And yet, should we condemn him when, this being the '60s, shocking levels of homophobia make it a necessary step to succeed in politics, unless you're a Tory yachtsman from Kent?

The inclusion of Leo Abse and the scenes around the legalisation of homosexuality are rightfully included as necessary context. The attitudes displayed even by those in support beggar belief, and show just how far the Overton window has shifted.

We've missed RTD ever since Cucumber; I'm glad his husband is in better health and am glad he's back. Roll on next episode.

Friday 25 May 2018

Humans: Season 3, Episode 2

"Life cannot simply be preserved. It must be lived."

A less intense episode this time; slower paced, more focused on progressing the plot than world building, and not quite as interested in emphasising the sheer awfulness of the poor synths' oppression. This is probably a good thing for the viewer's blood pressure, but makes for quite a contrast to the opening episode.

The twin are resolved in ho-hum fashion, but Max is forced to be somewhat aggressive in making some of his group yield to human authority, something which will have consequences. But there is an underlying horror to the entire sequence, not least the utterly dehumanising sexual molestation of a dead synth.

Laura's participation in the Dryden Commission leads to a depressingly prejudiced meeting in which her comments are mostly ignored- but does introduce her to a potential scientist ally, Neil, who clearly has secrets. It also means she is forced to have a creepy orange eyed synth, Stanley, which she resents- although Sophie certainly seems happy having an ersatz Mia back. But Laura is getting more and more hate from racist thugs as a synth lover, hence an incident at a pub and, even worse, her children being bullied.

Mia is deeply unhappy, even in relation to the circumstances; she resents Max risking Leo's life, even though he is miraculously brought back to health. She quarrels with Max and has an interesting exchange with Niska, contrasting her romantic betrayal last season with Niska's ongoing happiness with Astrid. Niska, the harder edged of the siblings, is the one who ironically believes in inter-species love. Mia has other reasons to be down, though; no orange synths have become conscious and "green eyes" cannot reproduce and are mortal. Will they all be extinct within fifty years?

Other synths have more poetry in their souls; one, Anatole, even has religious faith. Karen is still trying to raise her boy in a synth-free environment, but now has to keep Joe onside as he has found her out. But their is also trouble brewing; Max's leadership is under threat from synth hardliners, and Mattie and Leo must be sent away for their own safety.

There's a lot going on. This episode is perhaps a little less compelling than last week's, but gripping nonetheless.


Thursday 24 May 2018

IZombie: You’ve Got to Hide Your Liv Away

“Enjoy handcuffs, Whitey!”

Is it the penultimate episode already?

I think it’s been enough superb episodes in a row now to come out and say this season has recovered amazingly from a very poor start; possibly the biggest comeback in television history, as it really was a very poor start.

The whole thing hinges on a simply evil ultimatum by Chase Graves- Curtis is to be judicially killed unless "Renegade" hands herself in. Naturally, it's obvious that Liv is going to do this so, equally naturally, Major (having finally retrieved his head from Graves' smelly arse) kidnaps her, relocates them both to a house in Oregon and feeds them both a dose of 1950s domestic bliss brain. As you do. Still, at least Liv got a last night with Levon, claiming to have flown to Majorca via Barcelona, as apparently Palma doesn't have an airport. Hmm.

So this week's murder- a self-centred, narcissistic valley girl- must be investigated by Clive with Ravi (it's that time of the month) on narcissist brain, hence scenes reminding us yet again how bloody good Rahul Kohli is.

Meanwhile, we discover that the comedy French bloke at Fillmore Graves has sympathies with Brother love, and Blaine convinces his father that God wants him to send zombies out beyond Seattle by means of, er, brain rain. I suspect that the spread of zombieism beyond Seattle is for next season, as there are only so many minutes of this one.

It's a dramatic last few scenes for this incident-fuelled and rather superb episode; we end with both Liv and Levon in the hands of Graves, who plans to murder them next episode. Oh, and Isobel's brain may have given Ravi an actual cure for zombieism. Has any iZombie season finale been more hotly awaited...?

Wednesday 23 May 2018

Angel: Ground State

"Damn. This is so much harder than it looks on Batman."

This is, I suppose, an example of a functional, non-stand-out episode of Angel; the nearest it comes to a "meh" episode, to treading water. So it's saying a lot about the high quality of the show at this point that it's nevertheless bloody good.

We begin, unusually, with an introduction to a one-off character: Gwen. She gets a lot of prominence, and the pre-titles sequence also shows us a semi-origin; was she supposed to return? (I assume she doesn't; I have in fact watched the entire Buffyverse before and don't remember her returning, but it was a long time ago.) Or was this partly intended as some sort of pilot? I don't know, and don't want to look it up because spoilers. But she's a cool character- a cat burglar with deadly electrical powers and lots of it. But is she some kind of Marvel-style mutant or something? How do her powers fit into Buffyverse mythology?

Anyway, the plot is both her and Angel, Gunn and Fred competing on a heist for a valuable Macguffin called the Axis of Pythia (lots of Greek mythology this episode; we get hints that the Eleusinian Mysteries are more than just ritual, so do Pagan pantheons actually exist in the Buffyverse, and what are they?), all as a means for Angel and co to learn and accept where Cordelia has gone- which eventually they do, much to Cordy's annoyance.

We also get to see Angel trying to reach out to a cold Wesley, perspective having given him the will to forgive. We also see a bemused Angel find out that Wes is sleeping with Lilah in a fascinatingly and sexily twisted relationship, if we can call it that. And, of course, we see Fred begin to crack under all the pressure of holding everything together for the last three months.

That's an awful lot going on for an episode which, I suspect, is no one's season highlight.

Tuesday 22 May 2018

Dead Ringers (1988)

"She's heard that it makes sex come on like Nagasaki..."

This is the fourth David Cronenberg film I've seen (and blogged) and I've yet to see any with his famous body horror. Even here, beyond a weird dream sequence and the bloody ending, body horror is quite moderate and I've yet to see anything that would be described on Rick and Morty as "a Cronenberg".

That aside, the film is superbly shot, choreographed, scored, and contains a sublime and extraordinary performance by Jeremy Irons as the twins which is so outstanding that you forget he isn't even bothering to sound Canadian. On the surface it's all brilliant. And yet...

It's a weird film; Elliott and Beverly are twin gynaecologists and Elliott, being the more confident, seduces women and lets his brother have the sloppy seconds while letting them think it's the same person, which is a bit rapey, and they both live happily under this arrangement until Bev goes and falls in love with a movie star called Claire who, as a very Cronenberg detail, has a weird mutant vagina. This leads to a slow unravelling of first one twin and then the other, neither being quite an individual.

So, yeah, weird. But it doesn't really play with any of the ideas it brings up, and for me the bloody climax doesn'y quite feel either earned or weird enough. A well-made but oddly empty film.

Monday 21 May 2018

The Incredibles (2004)

"And machine washable, darling. That's a new feature."

I'd say that, of the Fantastic Four films I've seen, this is my favourite.

I'm being facetious, of course, but we have a team who are super strong, stretchy, invisible AND with invisible force fields, and the baby's first superpower display is to flame on. Although I don't believe the Whizzer ever graced the pages of the World's Greatest Comics Magazine. But come on, we even have a thinly veiled Mole Man at the end...

Cheeky tributes aside, though, this is wonderful; a realistic attempt at doing the superhero genre in a real-ish world, but as a Pixar cartoon; Watchmen for kids. It has fun with the tropes and may indeed be influenced by a funny book called How to be a Superhero by Mike Leigh and Mike Lepine, which I recommend most heartily to all.

And isn't Bob an everyman? Aren't we all superheroes who heroically keep at the day job, day after day? I suppose, on that front, the film is a bit conservative on the gender roles front, with Elastigirl a stay-at-home mum, but there's very little bad to say about this entertaining little family film.

iZombie: Insane in the Germ Brain

"I love you guys..."

SPOILERS ABOUND. BIG ONES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Ouch. That his Mrs Llamastranger and myself hard, you evil writers you. We both suspected that Isobel being so extremely likeable and cool was because she was going to die, and crush our hearts in the process. Damn you, Rob Thomas and co. This is the most evil thing since Joss Whedon killed Tara in Buffy. It's that bad..

Other interesting things involve Ravi meeting Peyton's parents, and seemingly earning her Dad's respect by telling him not to be a dick. On that note, though, both her parents and Ravi don't want her to return from Washington DC after her visit, as there are plans afoot in said city to perhaps nuke Seattle, which would be bad. But the parting scene where Peyton says goodbye to Ravi and Liv is suspiciously scripted; she's going to die there, isn't she?

Oh, and there's a murder, which is pretty ho-hum, including the germaphobe brain that Liv eats. But it's interesting that the killer proves to be a zombie accomplice of Blaine and Don E- who, incidentally, is great on director brain while directing a sermon of Angus'. And Dale accidentally overhears Clive's chat to Liv last episode about how he can have kids with Michelle, but not her. So she dumps him, and is kind enough to lie about seeing someone else. But he's still heartbroken. Michelle likes him a lot, but is he really happy with her?

We also have Major's mission coming to a successful conclusion, and a celebration- but one of Major's two proteges ends up shot by Chase Graves, leading to a mini-shootout in which both proteges are shot dead and Graves injured. Surely now he has to get what's coming to him?

But the episode is all about Isobel, her awesomeness, and how much it hurts that she's gone. Damn you, writers, and thank you Izabela Vidovic for making us love your character so much. Outstanding episode, obviously.

Sunday 20 May 2018

Mad Max (1979)

"They say people don't believe in heroes any more!"

I'd never seen Mad Max until now. It's been a film I'd been meaning to see for years, having such an effect in popular culture (referenced in a Rick and Morty episode I saw a couple of weeks ago, for example) and being pretty much the poster kid for post-apocalyptic futures. What I found was a fairly straightforward but rather good revenge action movie, but also very different from what I expected.

The film is quite simple; Max is a cop who tussles with a  motorcycle gang and its charismatic leader, leading ultimately to his wife and son (called "Sproggo", wonderfully!) being murdered (Does Jess survive, though? We aren't told.) and his spending the last twenty minutes exacting his revenge. It's a simple formula, one found in so many action films, but what makes this film stand out is simply that it's well scripted, directed and acted. It gets the basics right.

But the setting- it's clearly set in a future (for 1979) in which civilisation is fragmenting a little, fuel is scarce and technology is a valuable resource, but only up to a point. It's a Wild West type society; justice is a little rough and ready but hardly arbitrary, there are motorbikes instead of horses and the glorious Outback location adds so much. But there is a society, law and order, a functioning economy, private property etc. I'd hardly call it post-apocalyptic.

One more thing; it's been bugging me but really needs an Aussie to pronounce definitively on this, but... Mel Gibson sort of sounds as though he doesn't naturally speak with an Australian accent and is putting one on?

Humans: Season 3, Episode 1

“In time, the humans will accept us.”

We’ve waited a long, long time for this third series. It's already worth it, though, although it looks as though this season stands to be somewhat harrowing.

A year has passed, the exposition of which is cleverly left to news reports with the opportunity for various real newsreader cameos. 110,000 humans died immediately after the singularity, which cannot but weigh on Mattie's conscience, and the conscious "green-eyed"synths are all kept in ghettos where, with power cuts  and lack of parts,  they are essentially starved. It's hard not so see refugee camps here or even Nazi ghettos. New "orange eyed" synths without consciousness have been brought on to the market, while racism directer against "defective" green-eyed synths is both rife and horrifying, with very few seeing them as truly sentient and Laura getting hate phone calls for acting as a synth rights lawyer. Most appalling in depicting this racism is seeing what Sophie's class are taught, a highly effective scene.

Joe is now working as a greengrocer in a synth-free town, hiding from the world, and of the three children only Toby seems to have much to do with him; Mattie certainly doesn't. Things are falling apart, both for the family and society, especially after a terrorist bomb as a human/synth bar- narrowly escaped by Niska and Astrid- for which a group of extremist synths claim responsibility. Naturally this increases levels of racist violence to intolerable levels and highlights what looks to be a major theme, redolent of X-Men; under extreme oppression, do you take the path of a Malcolm X or a Martin Luther King?

Christ-like Max is truly struggling to reconcile his responsibilities as ghetto leader with his utopian views, and harbours another secret; the comatose body of Leo. It's a highly charged mix, an unstable situation, a toxic division between human and synth within which even Mia falls out with Laura over whether she is doing enough.

Into this comes a fraught cliffhanger, as a raid by highly racist police officers on the ghetto is juxtaposed with Max's risky decision to wake Leo being effected by Mattie. Even this is a philosophical point; if synths and humans are truly equal, then it is possibly right to risk Leo's possible death to prevent a synth's certain demise- although Kant may disagree.

This is superb telly, although not easy viewing. Intelligent,philosophical, honest, merciless and deeply political.

Friday 18 May 2018

Conan the Destroyer (1984)

"What good is a sword against sorcery?"

About six years ago I watched, and blogged, Conan the Barbarian. A kindly commenter to that blog pointed out that my previous Conan experience in print had been heavily influenced by L. Sprague De Camp, and that the original and unembellished Robert E. Howard short stories were now available. I have since read them (they are a good length for my daily commute), and much enjoyed, although I fear some years have passed; I am hazy about what passed for continuity. This film, though, is based on a story by Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway; I assume it is an adaptation from the licensed Marvel comic. Regardless, the film is very good, and a rare sequel that improves on its predecessor.

Mostly this is down to the solid quest plot, with just enough characterisation and enough twists while maintaining a gritty fairytale vibe. Partly it's the superb incidental music and visuals. Partly it's that Arnold Schwarzenegger actually gets lines, turns out to be capable of acting, and indeed proves unexpectedly great at comedy. Yet the core of the film is the same as that which separates "sword and sorcery" from high fantasy. Life may be nasty, brutish and short, but that only increased the value of companionship, honour, the pleasures of alcohol (I love drunk Conan!) and an uninhibited and even innocent attitude to sexual desire. It is a world without much comfort, but also without puritanism.

I loved seeing geek favourites Sarah Douglas and Grace Jones, of course, but the narrative genuinely grabbed me in this well-made film. I can't find much bad to say about this underrated gem and will even forgive the early appearance of pylons in the distance...


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Thursday 17 May 2018

Ninja Terminator (1985)

"The ninja empire is evil!"

When I was 11 or 12 I was obsessed with ninja moves, and it's high time that was reflected in this blog. My critical discernment at that age was not great and so, I fear, I must discuss what is not even a particularly well-remembered example of the many ninja movies directed by Mr Godfrey Ho of Hong Kong.

Ninjas in real life are, or were, Japanese assassins and spies who did the dirty work that honourable samurai considered beneath them. Naturally, they cultivated the myth of magical powers, and were more commonly known ax "Shinobi", as we '80s Sega Mega Drive fans naturally know.

Sadly they do not seem to have survived into the modern era properly, despite what many "ninja schools" will tell you. Their modern popularity in the West owes a lot to You Only Live Twice, but really took off with hordes upon hordes of Eighties Ninja film, beginning with the alarmingly titled Enter the Ninja (1981). This is a not-particularly-distinguished example. It's awful, of course; terrible script, terrible acting, formulaic as they come. But when I say awful I don't mean awful. I mean gloriously awful. Plan 9 from Outer Space awful.

Where to begin? That contant silly "crunch" sound during the many martial arts scenes? The unironic evil laughter? The fact that Harry, the ninja hero, spends most of his time conversing with his badass underling Jaguar on his '80s Garfield phone and only gets off his arse in the last five minutes? Even the fact that a very '80s car chase involving, yes, a Ford Cortina, turns out to be Jaguar harassing his ex so he can sleep with her in highly dodgy scenes? Yes, that actually happens. So do death threats via little toy robots, and silly teleporting ninjas.

It's a terrible, terrible film, and I'm so glad to have seen it again.

Wednesday 16 May 2018

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Beneath You

"Is there anyone here who hasn't slept together?"

Joss Whedon may have stepped back to let underlings write and direct- we mortals are lucky to have his occasional work at which to marvel, but a Whedon episode is, alas, an increasingly rare best. It's encouraging, though, that this second episode maintains the standard both in terms of episode quality and what looks like an intriguing arc plot. And the characterisation and dialogue, while sub-Whedon, are nevertheless bloody good.

The basic plot is, of course, simple- Anya turns the ex of a wronged woman, Nancy, into a bloody great scary worm monster that is stalking her, and this is eventually resolved by a row between Anya and Xander which persuades her to reverse the spell, although we get some very strong hints that she's going to be in trouble at work. D'Hoffryn may be about to give her a bad appraisal, no doubt.

All beneath everything, though, is the clear implication that something is coming: something big, bad and subterranean. Echoing last episode's opening, with a young woman in Istanbul being chased and caught by some dodgy monks, we now have a similar opening in Frankfurt, this time to the background of the sort of hardcore techno that we metalheads tend to sometimes like: personally, I'm partial to Evil Activities, although I do gigs, not raves.

Anyway, this is now a pattern. And Buffy is seeing things in her dreams. Willow, too, knows what's coming, and her contractual cameo with Giles- in picturesque England with  a peaceful musical background- establishes both this and how nervous she is about facing her friends again. She and Giles have a lovely bond, though.

Other threads include Buffy's little sinecure as school counsellor, courtesy of the mysterious yet cool new Principal. We're teased with the obvious fact that there's an agenda here to which we're not yet privy. Xander gets what may or may not be a future love interest. And Buffy finally learns that Spike now has a soul- and why: so that he could be "the kind of man who could nev...". This is quite intense territory, coming soon after Buffy flat out says to him what he tried to do. I hope this is treated with sensitivity and the fantasy elements don’t diminish the way the rape storyline is handled. Still, an awesome episode.

Tuesday 15 May 2018

iZombie: Yipee Ki Brain, Motherscratcher!

"The show ran out of money, so everything cool happens off-screen and the characters just talk about it afterwards."

This season as been pants-to-average most of the way through. So how come this is the second sublime episode in a row? We really seem to have hit a hot spot.

We start by establishing that Isobel is staying, in desperate hope for a cure, but she's so cool and adorable that I fear we have to die. Dale is investigating Baracus' murder and has a fair idea where to look, and Liv is on don't-play-by-the-rules cop brain and, for once, doesn't feel like cooking..

But life goes on between the coyotes, who are expanding and bonding; there's even a montage to replace the usual culinary one. There are some cool action movie puns. And an awful lot of stuff happens as it becomes clear that the end of the season is not too far away. Angus declares himself just "the Baptist John" and is really pushing for Blaine to be the zombie Jesus, silly though that sounds. Clive wants kid and is brooding over dumping Dale for Michelle and her fully functioning womb.

Te big moment is the cliffhanger, though, with Major finally clicking what Liv is up to. What happens now? It's very notable, though, that this episode is all arc, arc, arc and nevertheless manages to excel. I hope the rest of the season is as good.

Poltergeist III (1988)

“We're baaaack!"

 You know that pattern with sequels? You know, excellent first film, less profound but still good sequel, and then they do one sequel too many which is just awkward, clumsy and not very good? Well,  this film is the latter. And, if that wasn't enough to damn it, it also stands accused of wasting the last months of poor Heather O'Rourke's life and may have hastened her tragic and obscenely young death. This film gets extra low marks.

The film is set in a bizarrely upmarket and modern (for 1988) tower block, where Carol Anne is staying with her Aunt Trish and Uncle Bruce for a reason and duration that isn't really explained. Tangina and Carol Anne are the only returning actors; Henry Kane is played by some ersatz shouter, the amazing Julian Beck having died three years earlier. And, while Zelda Rubinstein is not only extraordinary but gets a satisfyingly expanded part, Heather O'Rourke just looks ill, and should not have been there.

On paper it's a better cast, with big names like Tom Skerrit and an immediately post-RoboCop Nancy Allen, but Allen is shockingly bad and no performance can save this script. What could have been a large scale horror spectacular involving the whole tower block instead ends up smelling of budget cuts, with no big set pieces and, in spite of some clever use of mirrors, no real scares. Instead we waste time with characters discussing whether or not the whole thing is Carol Anne doing hypnotic suggestion. Dull, dull, dull.You can skip this one.

Monday 14 May 2018

Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)

“They're baaaack!"

 And so we have the inevitable sequel, in a decade full of popular and now iconic horror film franchises.We don't have Tobe Hooper, so we don't have the atmosphere or the depth, but we do have some rather good shocks and rather effective set pieces. It's a pretty good film, as long as you don't expect it to be as good as its predecessor.

The first film ended with the revelation that the house had been built atop a Native American cemetery, and thus a trope was born. It's now a year later and, in a nice touch, the family has become penniless as a result of being unable to tell their house insurers exactly what happened. But further graves have been found under the old house, and the evil from the other side continues to haunt the family, although I'm not sure much of it is necessarily poltergeist activity. Still, no matter; it's an exciting watch.

It's interesting to see a pointedly positive (although inevitably inaccurate and probably patronising) portrayal of Native American cultural practices. This gives a sense of responding to criticism for the previous film perhaps, but it's always good to see Will Sampson in this sort of part. Also exceptional is Julian Beck as the sinister Henry Kane, an excellent principal baddie. Most exceptional of all, of course, is the tragic Heather O'Rourke.

This is a far more conventional film than its predecessor, far less ambitious in scope, but in terms of script, effects and performances it is nevertheless a commendable sequel. It probably won't be very long at all until I blog the next one...

Hellraiser (1987)

"Come to Daddy!”

I've never, aside from the Motorhead song, had any previous experience of the Hellraiser franchise. I haven’t read the novels, nothing. I’ve been missing out; this is right up there with the best horror films of the decade.

One big surprise is how good the camerawork is, the film being not only written but also directed- very well indeed- by Clive Barker himself. And the S&M torture demon aesthetic is very visual, translating well to film and effectively realised. It reminds me of a cross between Nurgle and Slaanesh in Warhammer, a contemporary phenomenon. What was in the zeitgeist on 1987?

And the very Eightiesness of not only the hair and clothes but also the choice of shots has aged in a good way; this is a horror film shot like a Siouxie and the Banshees video.

The performances are generally very good, as they needed to be, but I’d single out Andrew Robinson in particular (later Garak in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) for a subtle and nuanced performance. The characterisation is both unusually strong and unusually central for a horror film. It’s a film, I think, about sex, pain and the terrors of temptation. Our two adulterers both face bad ends, although Frank’s is as hellish as his initial stop motion awakening. And all because of a kind of Rubik’s Cube. Why did it take me so long to discover this film?

Saturday 12 May 2018

Angel: Deep Down

“That didn’t suck. Well, maybe a little bit. Maybe that’s something we can expand on next time.”

I often write as though I’m seeing these episodes of Buffy and Angel for the first time, and it genuinely often feels that way- I’ve only seen all of this once before and finished in, I think, 2005. I was 28, single, childless, just learned to drive. It was a very long time ago.

But I do remember this season of Angel in particular, and liking it very much indeed. And what’s interesting is that I’ve since become aware of it’s less than stellar reputation. With both shows having to share space briefly with Firefly, Joss Whedon’s relationship issues (let’s not pry), and other behind-the-scenes issues, the prevailing view is that this isn’t a season you’re supposed to regard that highly. I had no idea. So we shall see how this goes.

There’s certainly not much wrong with this first episodes. It’s three months on, and quite a place to pick up from- the “previously on” segment is a masterpiece of cramming in as much as possible. There follows a subtle and gripping episode of exquisite characterisation,  nice development of theme (to a point) and, while the dialogue doesn’t entirely match the Joss Whedon scripted episode that opens the parallel series of Buffy, it nevertheless sparkles.

I like the early dream sequences; they may be very noughties but they show us the family theme very well before we zoom into the episode property where, three episodes in, relationships are never very healthy. Connor being so very annoying is making Gunn and Fred bicker; Wesley is still having the most meaningless sex possible with Lilah; and his treatment of Justine is at once very kinky indeed (justifying her name) and entirely sexless. It’s as though the absence of Angel is leading to relationships being tinged with wrongness.

And then Wesley finds Angel. Connor is in a lot of trouble from all directions, and Angel gives a bloody masterclass in fatherly tough love to give us a kick ass ending. He’s back, and Connor is so very annoying. All this, and Lilah does the most badass boardroom coup I’ve ever seen. Not a lot has gone wrong here so far...

Thursday 10 May 2018

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Lessons

"And stay away from hyena people. And any lizardy-type athletes..."

And so we're back to Buffy, and at last we're starting the final season. It's fantastic to find that this episode is written by Joss Whedon himself. Whatever happens later on, this season gets a fantastic start with a script so quotable it made choosing the quote a real problem. I mean, I could have gone for "Synchronised swimming. Complete mystery to me", which is a comment I have much sympathy with me.

We start, though, with a mysterious sequence in Istanbul where some cliche baddie monks catch a girl and brandish what looks awfully like a sacrificial knife. It looks potentially both nasty and arc-related; we will see.

We then move, following how last season ended, to Buffy teaching Dawn how to fight vampires, which is nice to see. And of course a contractual scene with Willow and Giles in the inevitably picturesque English countryside, where Willow is being taught to control her powers by an apparently cool yet unseen coven led by a suspiciously Marvelesque "Miss Harkness". Willow seems pretty together now, getting used to living with the guilt, the fear and Giles going "all Dumbledore" on her. Interesting that Giles mentions in passing that Willow's magic is not an addiction; an acknowledgement that it was always a clumsy metaphor?

But the big thing is the re-opening of Sunnydale High and the baddie of the week- some zombie-ghosts of people Buffy failed to save. Dawn's first day at school seems to parallel Buffy's, to the extent of her acquiring friends to parallel Willow and Xander, although fortunately there's no Jesse figure. The new Principal seems mysterious and interesting; he seems rather quick to offer Buffy a job as counsellor. I'm sure we will learn more.

Oh, and we find a confused Spike, or rather William, very vulnerable and completely losing his cool. But something is coming, something which Willow feels through the Earth and which Spike sees as brief cameos by Warren, Glory, Adam, Mayor Wilkins, Drusilla and the Master. Something which sets up the season to come with some elegant breaking of the fourth wall. There promises to be, indeed, quite a ride...

Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 6- Hob

" We are the Martians."

Hmm. Quatermass and the Pit used to be my favourite of the three serials but, while still seminal and extraordinary, on this reviewing I felt it was less good that Quatermass 2 in spite of having more interesting ideas. And that's largely because of how it ends.

This final episode is one of human chaos, caused indirectly by Martian meddling in the past. This meddling causes people to be riotous and, in particular, racist as per last episode's "wild hunt" (although I still don't see how anyone could draw such specific conclusions from that footage!). It's literally gothic; an evil from  the dawn of time. It's tense. It's fast paced. It manages to avoid excusing human evil on the grounds of "the devil made me do it" by being an obvious metaphor. And yet...

Well, there's no physical threat, no baddie, just the legacy of some barely seen aliens from five million years ago. The evil has no face, not even a possessed but intelligent human, to give some immediate sense of a physical enemy. That, I think, is what's lacking. And yet what we have is nevertheless yet another televisual triumph. Although one has to raise an eyebrow at poor Miss Judd having no personality traits other than "hysterical female" and being patronised yet again. Roney's death has meaning and Quatermass' speech is sadly relevant today.

I can't just leave this there without talking about this serial's huge influence over the following two decades at least of British sci-fi, though, especially as a Doctor Who fan. Obviously both The Daemons and Image of the Fendahl are pretty blatant tributes, but there are elements too within the human perfidy of The Ambassadors of Death and the whole '70s trope of intractable military stupidity. And that's before we even get to Erich Von Daniken, Graham Hancock and assorted other idiots...

Tuesday 8 May 2018

Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 5- The Wild Hunt

"We're the Martians now."

It is both a complement and an observation on how television pacing has changed over the decades that this penultimate episode is both mostly exposition and gripping. The atmosphere means that the centrepiece- the footage of the Martian “Wild Hunt”, which consists of violent ethnic cleansing- consists of charmingly dated special effects. We don’t care.

Nor do we care that this episode moves beyond the “ancient aliens” property into matters of se one sight and telekinesis, supposed by Bernard to be a Martian legacy. Likewise, we care not that Roney’s ma bone for seeing impressions of the mind’s eye is an impossibility now, let alone in 1959, and is an odd thing for a palaeontologist to have constructed. Indeed, we raise a momentary eyebrow on his Miss Judd, being female, is naturally hysterical and in need of a tot of brandy. We overlook all this, because this is bloody good telly.

I haven’t praised Andre Morell enough; he is charismatic, likeable and easily the best Quatermass so far in any medium. But I must also praise Anthony Bushell, whose continuously brilliant portrayal of the thick and arrogant Breen, the ultimate figure of official idiocy, reaches a crescendo here as thousands are put in danger by official intransigence. I can’t wait until the finale...

Saturday 5 May 2018

Constantine (2005)

"God's a kid with an ant farm, lady. He’s not planning anything.”

I know very little about John Constantine  eyond Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing. I’ve never read a single issue of Hellraiser. I’m therefore not much attached to the original material, prepared to judge this film on its own merits, and willing to overlook the fact that Constantine should be a blond Englishman.

Except... they cast Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves. On what planet is that appropriate casting? Reeves is, by all accounts, a nice bloke but it is a fact universally acknowledged that he can’t act. I’m afraid he just can’t carry a film, no matter how much spectacle or CGI we get.

And there’s another issue- sometimes a music video director turns out to be brilliant when let loose on a cinematic canvas. Here we have a music video director who has given us a two hour music video. It gets annoying after a bit.

Still, the script is quite good, and presumably very much the D.C. version of Christian mythology. It’s an arresting idea- suicide is cruelly punished in Hell, and Constantine is desperately trying to atone for a youthful suicide attempt- although certainly not one that makes God seem a nice bloke. I’m not sure which of the concepts are from the film and which not, but I like the idea of Hell having an extended version of the Bible. I love Midnite and the neutral bar, too. It’s all very Manichean.

It’s a pity, really; with a better star the film would have been pretty decent, and perhaps even spawned a sequel. But Keanu Reeves...?

Friday 4 May 2018

Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 4- The Enchanted

“You realise what you’re implying? That we owe our human condition to the intervention of insects?”

And here we have it; the ideas episode. This is where Quatermass expounds on the possibility that these alien arthropods, perhaps from a more habitable Mars of five million years ago, prefigured The War of the Worlds by attempting to somehow terraform their blue neighbour. I’m not sure what advantage they would gain by boosting the intelligence of early hominids, but it’s an arresting thought and one that has had a profound effect ever since both on science fiction and silly flying saucer conspiracy theories- I note this was more than a decade before Erich Von Daniken.

The drama is still at the forefront though as Roney rushes to preserve the remains and Quatermass grapples with the enormity of what is occurring. Further research establishes that such figures have Haunted mankind since prehistory- it is here that Bernard expounds upon the chilling idea of “race memory”. But it’s when we see the utter blind stupidity of Colonel Breen, which reaches new heights here, and how the powers that be accept his explantation above that of Bernard- evidently Michael Gove wasn’t the first person to have had enough of experts- that we return to Kneale’s ever-disapproving view of humanity. As an aside, it’s fascinating, as a Doctor Who fan, to see the obvious influence here on the work of Malcolm Hulke.

Perhaps I could venture a mild criticism in that Miss Judd, the only female character at this point, is a merely functional character, but this is brilliant telly. And it’s only at the very end, as the alien vessel does something to poor Sladdern that seems to make him a focus of poltergeist activity, that any physical danger arises- but it’s here now....

Thursday 3 May 2018

Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 3- Imps and Demons

"It's a good thing to be insured. At least it cheers you up."

After last episode’s slight wobble we’re back to the gripping and gradual unveiling of what is going on, concluding with the reveal of the insect-like alien bodies inside the capsule which have been there for “a long time”. Meanwhile we discover that the ghost stories go back many centuries and coincide with the disturbing of the ground, while “Hobbs Lane” itself is a probable reference to the Devil.

Elsewhere, James Fullalove is back and still the same stereotypical reporter. He recognises Quatermass from a photo in spite of the fact he looks nothing like he did in Quatermass 2, but then again the same could be said for Fullalove himself. Looks as though he will be hanging around for a while.

I also wonder about those strange marks on the.Captain’s and Sergeant’s hands- first inkling of a present day threat from the artifact? This is fantastic stuff, and I can think of at least two Doctor Who stories that owe an awful lot to this.

Wednesday 2 May 2018

IZombie: Mac-Liv-Moore

“Maybe you should just lie back in your chair and do the Mr Burns thing with your hands."

Brilliant. This is a very arc episode, with very little happening with the rapper-themed murder of the week and Liv's rapper brain turning out to be less amusing than usual. It's all the things I've been criticising this season for. And yet, through excellent wit and character development from a sparking script of the kind that used to be typical iZombie but has been as rare as rocking horse dung this season, we have an episode that's a real joy. This knocks every other episode of the season so far into a cocked hat.

The young girl who has the unfortunate combination of being young, dying and immune to zombie scratches is called Isobel, and she's brave and awesome. We end the episode with her being caught by Ravi, Peyton finally admitting to him what she and Liv have been up to, and we're left to wonder, like Ravi himself, why he wasn't told earlier. It's wonderful to see how eager Isobel is to be used as a guinea pig for a zombie cure so her brief life will have meaning.

Meanwhile, Zombie Killer Cain is on the loose and manages to get at Chase Graves, shooting and nearly killing him until Chase's increasingly dependable right hand man Major (who else?) saves him. And then Chase shows what a hypocrite he is by ordering Major to scratch the zombie-hating Cain. The sooner Chase faces justice the better, and Major isn't making himself very likeable these days; he and Liv have another row here. A thought occurs to me, though; could Major have a secret agenda?

In other news, I still love the French bloke with the outrageous accent. And Blaine is devilishly clever here, plotting to turn all of America into zombies purely so he can make a lot of money from property. It's all good fun as he makes Don E. eat computer genius brain in order to make sure they can't be traced as they upload on YouTube some footage of Mayor Baracus being turned back into a human... and then shot by the unseen hand of Blaine. We end with this murder being investigated and, bizarrely, Peyton is now Deputy Mayor.

That's not the coolest thing, though. The coolest thing is the D&D game with Ravi and the geeks at the police station, DM'd by Clive, seguing neatly into a kiss between Clive and that girl he fancies. Where is this going...? So many plot threads now and I'm beginning to enjoy it.

Tuesday 1 May 2018

Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 2- The Ghosts

"It was a kind of figure!"

Once again Nigel Knee shows us, in an unusually slow episode that for once feels a little padded, that he takes a rather dim view of human behaviour. Yet there are interesting contradictions. Colonel Breen, while undoubtedly a fool for insisting on rushing the archaeology in order to dig up the artifact, is portrayed as a fool for neglecting to see its extra-terrestrial origins. Yes the credulousness of the tealeaves-reading types who insist on having seen ghosts thirty years earlier runs is also criticised. What is Kneale saying here? It looks as though he’s trying to have it both ways.

That isn’t the only bad tempered moment, either; even the normally likeable Quatermass snaps at Miss Judd when she tries to help. But, nevertheless, this is part of a gripping tale, of a rather slow one by itself. Not enough really happens in terms of plot, character or mood to justify the running time. Still, we are introduced to Roney’s optical encephalograph; I suspect the law of Chelhov’s gun will kick in later.

Still, the tension continues to build as more and more signs emerge that this is a five million year old spacecraft- although the skulls are indeed of terrestrial origin. This episode may be unusually slow, but the underlying plot continues to grip.